


A simple gesture.

by TheFolle



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff but not too much i think, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:01:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26156938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFolle/pseuds/TheFolle
Summary: He remembered the first time it had happened, it was that time that had upset him the most and that still disturbed him today when Castiel intertwined their hands.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	A simple gesture.

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Ce n'était pourtant rien](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18961144) by [TheFolle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFolle/pseuds/TheFolle). 



> Hey, so it's my first time in English so I need to put a warning: it is not my native language and I translate that one night while really tired, so if anything is wrong, please tell me and I'll correct it as soon as I can.  
> Also, fluff isn't my cup of tea, but it's not really fluff, let's just say it's sweet, and we all need that.  
> I hope you will enjoy this!

Dean thought that was ... silly. Even incredibly silly.

He took a sip of his beer, finishing it, and asked for another as the ambient atmosphere of the bar permeated him.

He wasn't a kid dreaming of her Prince Charming nor some pimply teenage girl marvelling at a beautiful, deep, sad, melancholic, and secretive vampire.

But it had happened several times, those little things, moments. 

At the time he didn't think it was stupid, but later during the day, when he thought about that gesture, he felt stupid.   
Weak.   
Embarrassed. 

What did Castiel think of that? Dean didn't know.

After all it was always -he- who performed the gesture. But he was an angel so who knows what it could mean to him. The angel maybe didn't even know what it could imply.

But in his eyes, Dean saw that he knew much more than he seemed. 

And the angel performed that gesture more and more. 

Yet it was nothing, but the elder Winchester felt so embarrassed, stupid because it wasn't something as innocent as it is that friends do. 

Yet it was nothing to hold hands. 

Nothing at all, but they weren't children.

And Castiel who avoided all eyes when he gently slipped his fingers between the hunter's cold ones.

Dean was completely lost. Did Castiel realize what he was doing? Deep down he knew the angel too well to know that even if he had limited knowledge of humanity, he knew perfectly well what he was doing. 

Each time the Winchester told himself he just had to leave, ask for explanations because he was totally lost and Castiel's introspective and serious gaze as if he was trying to understand something himself, did not help. 

But each time, instead of leaving, he sighed in spite of himself and relaxed as much as his embarrassment allowed, so just a little, but at least that was something. And the more his friend started over, the more he released the pressure.

It had become regular and almost normal, but a mild sense of unease persisted.

Yet Dean wasn't paying any attention anymore, he preferred to let things happen for the moment and worry about what he felt later or never. Winchester method.

At the time, it felt like someone was watching over him. Not that he wasn't, the angel and his brother were always there, but during those moments, things were different.   
The feeling of cold and sometimes sweaty hands on his meant a lot. He had someone sharing his pain and to whom he could tell everything without shame. But it wasn't his thing. He usually preferred a beer while he repressed all the problems and now, the hand of Castiel, his friend. The angel never asked anything, didn't want the hunter to force himself to speak because he understood that it wouldn't lead to anything. Anyway, he didn't need Dean's words to fully understand everything that worried him.   
The hand comforted, soothed. 

It happens once or twice, while Dean was in a bar or a diner with his brother, the angel made himself invisible and hold the hand which, despite all the previous times, had a little recoil. He had even done it once while being visible but Sam, too busy with his computer, hadn't noticed anything.   
No speak.   
No remark.   
No look.   
No other movement. 

Dean sighed, lost in thought, and drank some more beer that he had watched calmly since being served.  
He was stressed when Castiel took his hand.

Shit! Why it bothered him so much? Wait no! ... Of course it disturbs him so much, he's not a 6 years old and there are only couples who hold hands, not -friends-!  
He sighed again.   
But it was Cas.   
And yes holding hands was a habit of some couples. He had never really been in a relationship, apart from one or two experiences. Castiel either.  
Was Castiel aware of what it makes him felt?   
Surely not, right? 

Dean lowered his head in pity, not even paying attention to the waitresses.

He remembered the first time it had happened, it was that time that had upset him the most and that still disturbed him today when Castiel intertwined their fingers.  
They were in the Impala, Sam in the back was asleep and Castiel had stayed in front.

The hunter remembered that night very well, it was the first time Cas had taken his hand. He had seen the angel's eyes staring at him insistently. Calmly. He didn't say a single word.   
Him?   
He was sad, tired, exhausted, broken, destroyed. 

Castiel had put his hand on Dean's which was resting on his thigh while he was driving. The hunter had opened his eyes wide. He tried to remove his hand but the angel had prevented it, tightening his grip, the look always more insistent. 

And the hunter didn't resist long. Maybe it was an angle thing or something. But he had found himself calmer, appeased, relieved, and repaired for only a few minutes but it was already so much. 

Dean remembered that night very well. It was the first time Cas had held his hand. He had had this feeling he could let go of everything, scream, cry or just shut up and drink gallons of alcohol, whatever, Castiel would always have been here.

Did Castiel ever abandon him? 

Dean remembered that night well. He felt by the light pressure that the angel applied to his warm hand that he was making a sort of promise that only the two of them knew and understood the scope. 

Dean remembered that night well, and when he finally parked the car in the parking lot, Sam still asleep, he remembered Castiel's hand that released his. He felt tense without knowing why and repressed this stupid and incongruous urge to catch up with that palm and those fingers. 

Dean remembered that night well because he remembered that promise that resonated with him. 

Because he remembered the emotions and feelings that had certainly been repressed for a long time, buried under gallons of drinking and hangovers that the mere contact had brought to the surface.

Because he remembered the tear Castiel's lips caused on his.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed, have a nice day!


End file.
